The Biggest Myth About Community
What if the community you are trying so hard to build… already exists?
There is a Yoruba proverb that says:
“Nkan tí o ń wá ló sí ṣòkòtò, ó wà ní àpò ṣòkòtò ẹ.”
Roughly translated, it means:
“What you are looking for in Sokoto (a Nigerian State far up in the North) is already in your sokoto (your Trouser).”
I have been thinking about that proverb a lot recently.
Because I believe it captures one of the biggest myths about community.
The myth is this:
You have to build one.
Every other day, I speak with business owners, founders, organizations, individuals, and community leaders who tell me,
“I/We want to build a community.”
My first question is usually very simple.
Who already trusts you?
Then the room goes quiet.
Because the truth is, community rarely begins when you launch a Facebook Group, Discord server, Telegram channel, or Slack workspace.
It usually begins much earlier.
It begins with the first customer who comes back.
The first volunteer who says yes.
The first reader who replies to your newsletter.
The first person who recommends your business without being asked.
The first conversation that happens even when you are not in the room.
The first people who counted as your Family when you came into this world.
That is community.
We have somehow reduced community to platforms.
We think that if we create a space, people will magically become a community.
But platforms do not create community.
People do.
Relationships do.
Trust does.
Belonging does.
That is why two hundred people inside a Discord server can feel lonely.
And five people around a coffee table can feel like family.
Community is not measured by membership.
It is measured by connection.
That is also why I believe everyone already belongs to one.
Your family is a community.
Your colleagues are a community.
The parents at your child’s school are a community.
The people who read your newsletter every week are a community.
The customers who always choose your business are a community.
Even the café where the staff already know your order has become part of your community.
You may simply call it something else.
As a community strategist, I have stopped asking,
“How do we build a community?”
Instead, I ask,
“Where is community already happening?”
Because once you recognize it, your work changes.
You stop chasing numbers.
You start strengthening relationships.
You stop collecting members.
You start creating belonging.
Maybe the community you are looking for has been there all along.
You simply needed to see it.
Final Thoughts
Community is rarely created from nothing.
More often than not, it is recognized, nurtured, and intentionally strengthened.
Sometimes the first step in building a community…
is realizing you already have one.
👉 And if this resonated with you, join my circle or subscribe to my newsletter to learn more about building a community, contributing to your communities or finding your own voice.
